Going home...

I've decided to re-instate my original blog.

New address is www.shout-hakunamatata.blogspot.com

This blog will slowly be shifted over(when I find out how!)

Career change?

Been though this before...

Wonder if it'll happen again?

What are the factors to look at?

Should I consider my long term plans?

Will I make a wrong move and be unable to undo it?

Do I consult my family on this?

Do I listen to opinions of my friends?

Or does my gut feeling know it all...

Grrrr..

This is how I am feeling right now...

Wishing I could reach out to my freaking computer and strangle the life out of it...

Bleep Bleep....

Sanity ....

Do we remain sane?

Or is our sanity what we perceive to be?

Or is insanity actually the way it was supposed to be?

Who are we to say who is sane, and who isn't?

Moving On...

Two words that is easily said, but yet difficult to do...

Did get much sleep last night(besides the fact that I fell of the bed and landed on my alarm clock, which by the way is fine, just there's some loose parts, and I have a bruise on my right hip)...

Still trying to come to grips with what has happened...

I don't feel melancholic.... Neither do I feel emotionless...

Emotions in a mess right now...

Paranoid...

Ok, I'm getting paranoid...

Laughing at myself...

That's basically what I did for the past half hour or so...

At the fact I'm such an idiot...

At the fact that I already had a gut feeling about it, but I just wanted confirmation...

I suppose laughter is the best medicine...

Monday blues... Part Two

I do not know if this is how life works.... How friendships reach their peak, and it has to be parted...

My 'big bro' will be leaving the country for his career advancement in about 3 months or so.... I've only known him for half a year... And yet, have somehow formed a special friendship that I have never had...

I have close friends, who have also left the country... But somehow, I'm come to realise each with each departure, every new friendship I bond with, gets deeper and stronger... Making it even more difficult to say good bye...

I've only had another 'big bro' who is now somewhere in Argentina I think, and somehow I think when I sent him off at the airport.... People may have thought we were gay or something... His work makes it difficult to keep in touch.. Have not heard from him since last year... I do feel a bit worried if anything has happened to him, but there's no way for me to find out... He's an orphan, and his other friends I keep in touch with also has not heard from him...

I may soon be the one leaving as well, depending on whether or not I stay in my current job...

In my current close circle of friends, I have 2 friends that I will forever cherish their friendship... The sad thing is one of them is my 'big bro'.

I didn't really realise that myself and my 'big bro' leaving would mean that my other friend(let's call her leng lui) would be left all alone.

Our lives has been rather different ever since our friendship grew and became stronger...

So strong that I have shared things with them that I didn't even share with my family...

Am I the only one that feels exhausted having to go through the phase of friends leaving... Not being able to do the things we enjoy together... The long talks we have.. The laughter and joy...

We can always keep the memories, but aren't memories sometimes just too painful...

Monday blues... Part One

Literally, our internet connection to our server site has been down the whole morning...

So thought I just write a all-in-one post to keep myself occupied...

Last Sunday, I had a new instructor team teach with me. She used to ride my RPM class, and has now joined the ranks of instructors...

It's a nice feeling to see her grow as an instructor. She has shown improvement.

Tomorrow night, I'll be having another new instructor team teach with me, also a close friend...

I do admit that I may have put some high expectations towards my friend... But I do believe that I have not judged him wrongly, eventhough I have not seen him teach yet. According to my programme head teacher, he has potential.

He does have an advantage over other instructors in that he has a background in teaching, and also martial arts coaching.

Just wonder if he might freeze up once on stage? Maybe I'm just being too analytical...

What is it that I do?

I've been asked that question quite a few times in the past week...

Honestly, I don't really know...

I have come to a point where I just say I am an IT specialist...

Currently, my job doesn't require me to do programming, I just analyse code, and come up with a diagram that represents it...

Later on, if required, yes I may have to do some minor programming...

I might even have to be the communicator between the development team and the users...

So what is it that I do actually? Is there a proper job title?

On my appointment letter, it's written Analyst Programmer.... Then again, the job titles are rather new in the team I am involved... Heck we even have a Team Leader, coz they didn't know what title to give him due to his background...

We have everything from Programmers, to Senior Application Consultants, but currently we are all doing pretty much the same job... I think...

Anyway, it's 1:00am.... Friday morning, less than 24 hours to my Body Pump clearance....

Am breaking cold sweat as I type right now.... Yeeesshh...

Escapade...

Feel like escaping the work force...

Ideas of going back to study full time...

Becoming a part time teacher at a tuition centre...

Or simply trying to wing it as a Personal Trainer at my gym...

There's one thing I can do to get my mind off things....

Just visited California Fitness website, and they have this 7 day free trial thingy going on... I think I shall pay them a visit..

For the next 24 hours, the only thing I am listening to is Body Pump 57.... Doing my clearance..... Getting freaked out..... Eeek!

Just cause..

I have turned of anynomous comments.... Just coz I can... :p

Phases Of Life... Is this all there is?

I think I've reached the stage in life where the only thought that comes to mind is "Is this all there is to life?"

Been feeling rather confused(that's another matter altogether), but also at the same point I just feel down... Don't understand it completely as to why I am feeling down...

Sat down for a few hours with a pen in hand and a blank piece of paper, trying to identify what's putting me down.... And nothing... Mind just went blank....

Common sense, I think I lost it...

No, I don't mean literally... Well maybe I have lost some brain cells. I was cleaning my bathroom....

And in my state of 'blurness' :
I doused some bleach on the bathroom floor....
Poured some floor cleaner on the bathroom floor...
Squirted some Ciff on the bathroom floor..
Grabbed my faithful scouring pad.. and started scrubbing...

I realised there was a slight pungent smell coming...

I think it took me a good 1 minute of scrubbing before I remembered the one rule of bleach..

DO NOT MIX WITH OTHER CLEANERS!

By then I was literally coughing..... Felt a little giddy...

I realised by then that I have created an environment where if I stayed long enough, I think I would pass out or suffer from some breathing problems...

Turned the tap on, left the water running to wash away the 'mixture'...

Right now, my throat is itching.....

Gonna drink lots of water....

Gonna stick a note on the bleach to remind me not to repeat this....

(Banging head against wall)

Why do we blog?

I am getting really annoyed with the concept of blogging(besides the fact that I am now blogging about not liking to blog).

I just took down a post about a topic I felt was a little too personal, but when I posted it, it felt good, a heavy burden was lifted. But then, later I felt 'What the heck, that's too personal to be posted on the web'.

So what is it that makes blogging to mind controlling that it makes us posts things which we know could be damaging to us one way or another...

I'm sure most of you have no idea what I am talking about.. Do you?

Body Pump Clearance..

And the countdown begins...

Honestly I have no idea why I'm starting to stress out...

This Friday is going to be one heck of a Friday night... Getting my clearance done to teach Body Pump.. Which I think it will end up in the closet.....

Unless I make a career change....

Still undecided......

Actually.. Am blogging coz the server connection is down.. So it's Monday blues here...

72 hours later

Saturday
(8:30am) 1 1/2 hours trekking up Bukit Gasing

(11:45am) Les Mills RPM

Sunday
(7:30am) 10km run

(2:00pm) Les Mills RPM

(3:00pm) Les Mills Body Balance

(8:45pm) Foot Reflexology

Monday
(7:15am) Les Mills RPM

And I'm still on a go... Hmmmm.....

Either my mentality is just abit out of the cosmos, or I am just loosing my mind...